Homesick, Part 2

In the previous blog I mentioned that I had channeled something from beyond; something that inevitably became the cause of a deep depression and the feeling of homesickness. I had found a place I had been before, or where I had originated, or had some very special purpose. In any case, there was no way I could have known the things revealed to me during this brief period channeling. What follows is a short story I had written to preserve the account. I later had the same essay published in an obscure run of occult books published by Edgar Kerval and Transmutation Publishing. The story is as follows............................................................................................................ I had spent much of my life hiding in the shadow of the cross and its ignorance, until those life changing events come along and force you to give up, or grow up. Bouncing you off in a new direction like a rock off the windshield of your car as you speed down the interstate, your faced with the decisions that ultimately have lifelong impacts on you emotionally, physically, and most importantly spiritually. I could have easily given up, running back to my evangelical family who would have every known Biblical answer for my wayward thoughts and desires. But it would not be so, for I had lost all faith and hope in that paradigm of thought, and there was only one other direction that my rebellion would take me. So, I turned left at the crossroads, walking down a crooked path I had walked past numerous times. All my life I had been told where my salvation lied and the direction I was to go to achieve it. Never in my life had I thought I would summon the courage to turn my back on those lifelong beliefs, let alone turn down the dark path that had beckoned and taunted me since my teenage years. But I did, and it was down that Left-Handed Path I found true salvation. I discovered a world in which I could think for myself, answer my own questions, and discover new mysteries beyond those already known. And I could create. I had discovered my birthright, myself, my power, and my own Godhood. "We all have our starting points, paths, and limits of understanding. That is the reason we incarnate over numerous lifetimes; to learn all we can, to battle the reoccurring results of the choices made lifetimes beforehand, and to confront the new challenges presented to our spiritual growth in preparation for lives to come. Sounding like the very definition of karma, I believe it is only becomes karma for those destined to continue repeating the same old cycles without breaking them, life time after life time. For many, the cycles of ascension grow stagnate, becoming stuck in lifetimes of lies, fears, dogmas, old habits, and beliefs. But for those who have the courage to confront their institutionalized fears, karma becomes nothing more than a New Age cliché and a life situation that is scoffed at in the face of a well-seasoned magician. For beyond those fears lies a hidden key to breaking those lifetimes of repetition. A key, that once discovered, understood, and properly applied will open the one door to countless springs of knowledge and untold worlds from which they flow. A key by which future lifetimes may be created, changed, or even destroyed. That one key is the art of spirit evocation. My old ways of thinking and world perceptions have been cast to the wind, yet my knowledge of the Christian path, with Biblical knowledge intact, has become something of a badge of honor. A symbol and constant reminder of the pointless and barren path it had become once its purpose was fulfilled. That purpose being to understand the many points from which I could draw endless lines and conclusions, tying ancient history, cultures, their religions and practice with Biblical stories, the occult, goetic magick, and ultimately the endless lists of Spirits one may utilize in the Art of evocation. My humble beginnings being a modest book on ordinary Wicca, progressing rapidly in the last decade through establishing my own group, teaching, writing, practicing ceremonial magick, and finally calling upon the very demons I had once feared; summoning them one by one to reap the rewards of knowledge and to view the physical change each one brought in my life. And while this may all seem quite ordinary and wonderful to the astute occultist, by the time I am done with this piece there will be a few crying foul and labeling me a heretic. I realize there are endless wells of primal, and ancient knowledge upon which to lay the very foundations of our practice. One must not forget that we do indeed create through intent, thought, and applied will. It is by this means we transcend the world around us to manifest our desires on this plane. As well, one must realize we all can transcend current thoughts, traditions, and practices in search of those realms and worlds beyond that of the White Light Kabbalah traditions, or even (Lilith forbid) the Qliphothic realms of the Sitra Achra. Within the scope of a multi-dimensional universe, there are indeed innumerable possibilities for practice, discovery, and ascension. To explain a bit further at the risk of ruffling feathers, or worse, being labeled an armchair theorist, it would seem the largest trend among modern occultists would be that of resurrecting the old, rewriting the ancient, or descending as far down into the abyss as one may possibly go. While this is perfectly fine, and almost necessary to achieve before even considering other routes of enlightenment, I do believe a new frontier of transcendence and magical practice lies much closer ahead, upward, and beyond the perceptions of current trends in LHP thinking. Is there possibly a way up? Aside from the perceptions that “up” implies “white light”? Perhaps straight “up” from our own vantage point would land us in either a new universe, or new dimension, with new archetypes and deities never discovered? Any direction but that of the perceived downward path. Satan forbid we even entertain the thought that many of our own deities were in fact aliens, left over intelligences, or those who have crept in through the cracks from other worlds uninvited to set up shop and pollute our universe with their ways of operation. Perhaps we may discover the ancient deities of the aliens themselves? A melding of subtle New Age thought, ancient history, conspiracy, and evocation. The birthing of new practices and understandings beyond the limits of this now and our long-held notions of light and darkness. Often in our perceptions, we think we have reached the final limits of our understanding and become content to remain in that loop of practice, never venturing beyond or questioning the unseen boundaries further. The dark sorcerers and shamans working meticulously through each tunnel of the Adverse Tree, the White Light Kabbalists engrossed in their interpretations and ceremonial banter, household Pagans content with their home-made crafts and spiral dance socials. What lies beyond even these concepts? And who? As I said before, subtle clues, lines, and conclusions drawn from various paths as well as the revelation of numerous unknown entities and their sigils have led me to discover there is indeed more. In a world where the occultist understands the limitlessness of the universe, and his potential, do we really grasp the idea of limitlessness? When we refer to the “universe” as just that in our studies, we have already limited our perception, for there are an infinite number of physical universes. As well as their infinite parallel realities, and so forth. We simply cannot grasp or conceive “limitlessness”. But we may strive ever harder to touch the closest worlds just beyond our very own. Setting me on this course of heretical thinking was my love for ancient history and religion. It is in fact the very works of Zechariah Sichen on the Sumerian civilization, and reading the Book of Enoch that I first began to draw conclusions connecting ancient alien “gods” with the fallen Watchers. This in turn led to the discovery of the demon Azazel. Nothing has been the same since, I can assure you of that. And Azazel will forever be the one entity to whom I owe a multitude of thanks and appreciation. No other guiding force has had more of an impact on my life than His influence. And with that influence the torrents of ambition, creativity, knowledge, and miracles have not ceased. As well as the introduction to countless other deities, spirits, angels and demons who work in my life daily. When friends ask how my life is going I simply say, “It’s like cruising down a boulevard in your car at a steady pace, all the lights know you’re coming and they turn green one by one to greet you.” And they continue to do so without fail. A theory I have held for a while is the thought that the fallen Watchers could have been one of many alien races responsible for human life today. Azazel was among the leaders of the rebellion we are all familiar with, and He alone was blamed for the mutiny and subsequent fall of mankind. Laden with the sin of humans, he was chained in the wilderness to remain there until the judgment. The book of Enoch was quite clear in that their number was 200. Knowing how myths, ancient religions, archetypes, and demons have been created throughout the centuries by the creative writings of zealous scribes and historians, reading a story of the Anunnaki on one occasion caught my eye. Taken from Zechariah Sichen's book, The 12th Planet, Sichen relays the story of an elite force of “watchers”, or fighters, who were assigned different posts around the planet to watch over the infant human race created by the Anunnaki. They too numbered 200. These watchers also began to mingle with the human women and in turn gave birth to the race known as the Nephilim. A story that sounds all too familiar and parallels that of the fall of the angels in Enoch. In both accounts the “secrets of heaven” were divulged to mankind and eminent doom threatened the existence of man because of his wicked ways. The only difference between the two accounts being, the story of the Anunnaki was written upon clay tablets from what seemed like a firsthand account. The story told by Enoch is obviously from a mythical point of view. Adding to the mystery, the Book of Enoch was written in Hebrew, Greek, Latin, and Ethiopian. It is considered non-canonical, or an un-inspired work; thus, adding to its mythical value. This one example among numerous others opened a door of doubt for me. I began to doubt whether I was really talking to Azazel in my evocations, and to me this was a form of complete blasphemy. Was He simply a projection of my subconscious? Was I talking to the ascended spirit of an Anunnaki warrior? The math and the time lines really did not add up in the colossal size of planetary history or the perceived universe. Omniscient and omnipotent beings do not evolve in a matter of a few millennia. Or can they? At least this was my thought, when you consider as humans we perceive these beings as timeless, or having evolved before time. But then the true nature of these alien visitors was never really revealed by the Sumerians, other than they were humanoid much like us, revered as Gods, capable of incredible feats, and able to live tens of thousands of years. While the presence of Angels and Demons in my evocations are tangible, and miracles in my life undeniable, I could not help but wonder about the true nature of the entities I had been calling upon, and if they would indeed reveal this at all to me? I wondered if there were demons, angels, or spirits accessible to us beyond the event horizon of our own tiny solar system. Were there intelligences with correspondences to planets, stars, or even galaxies beyond ours and our current concepts of the constellations? The closest thing to come to mind would be the Star Game of the O9A and its serpentary correspondences. Thoughts of heresy I know, but my mind kept churning. With these thoughts in mind, much like the mysteries of mankind's own origins, I began to muse on the idea that among the many intelligences we sometimes contact there are indeed higher alien life forms that choose to interact with us; and in very much the same way we access entities through mental or physical evocation. Not “grays” or little green men, but beings of energy, intelligence, and power beyond our perceptions of the everyday Goetic forms of spirits we so often bestow with angelic, demonic, or deific qualities. I am guilty of assuming that once I had committed most of the Goetic demons and spirits to memory with details on their hierarchies, offices and categories; along with vast histories of archetypes and pantheons of Gods, there would be no need to seek anything, or any being beyond those boundaries. Until what I thought was a demon revealed itself to me one cold night in January of 2014. Sitting in my truck at work one night during one of the coldest winters here in the Northeast in decades, I was meditating as I usually did. Notebook on my lap, pen in hand, and subtle music softly playing from meditative selections on my phone; I descended into the spirals of consciousness that leave my head feeling as if it is clamped in a vise and being massaged simultaneously. My third eye throbbed as the swirling colors and forms slowly formed into the image of a group of stars. Now let me be clear here, I am no astronomer. I am a simple blue-collar union equipment operator with dreams of writing about, and teaching my passions on the occult. What I began to see in my mind was completely foreign to me. As the image became sharper it was clear it was a group of starts shining through a blue haze or mist. While the exact arrangement of the stars escapes me, the fact that they were stars and the feeling it was very far away was undeniable. That was just the simple gut feeling I had; very far away, and very, very ancient. As I gazed at the stars in the blue haze they began to spin slowly, mingling with the haze to form a strand that resembled a strip of film. Once this had taken shape it then twisted slightly into the familiar shape of a DNA strand. Mesmerized by all this I wanted to take notes but heard a voice tell me “stay, and observe”. I willed myself to stay focused on the strand of twisted blue stars until the image began to give way to that of a man with long jet-black hair, standing amid the flames of a fire. My intuition was that he was a shaman of some sort. As I gazed into his eyes, the image shifted once more to that of the image of two stone reliefs, one resembling an upright phallus between two stones. The other a diamond shaped image with a triangle in the middle. With the last image, I suddenly felt myself crash back to my body. Struggling to recall the images I frantically began to doodle the images and thoughts of my vision on the paper. As I did I began to wonder who the man was I had seen, and what importance there was in his appearance to me. It was then another image flickered in my mind; that of a sigil. Focusing on the image of the symbol I carefully began to draw what appeared to be a stick man being sucked into a funnel, his body bent outward as if pulling away from an unseen suction coming from the funnel. Odd to say the least. Upon drawing the sigil and gazing at it for a short while I heard a name boom forth from the recesses of my mind; Marabolus (Mar' ab' a' loos). I made the entries in my journal, packed my things away, and settled back in my seat for a nap. Over the course of the next four months I would receive nearly 20 different sigils for entities I had never conceived or heard of, as if I could literally see them everywhere and pluck them from the world around me. But that one very first sigil eluded my understanding. I showed it to my wife, and after careful contemplation she confirmed my thoughts by saying “It’s very, very ancient. Not from around here at all”. A silly stick figure to which I could only attribute a feeling of ancient mystery and the sense that it had come from a place so far away that it was likely to be considered coincidence by friends and peers.

In the following months, I would meditate on Marabolus in the evenings before bedtime, charging the sigil in the manner I would any other; the symbol's power sending shudders through my body each time I charged it. Its power and potential clearly evident, I decided to evoke whatever was waiting on the other side. As I sat before my altar, softly chanting the name Marabolus over and over, the symbol I had received flashed upon the candle lit parchment, and as if on cue I began receiving torrents of words and information I could barely decipher, let alone keep up with. Almost as if a megaphone were beside my head, only with the volume turned down far enough to barley make out the words. I scrambled for a pen and paper to write what I had received. “Your world is the result of our creative consciousness, and within your world you create and destroy as well. It is your birthright. You have been created by and through many of us. We are the overseers of your world and many more. There are gateways to these worlds you may learn; many hidden within your own occult and religious belief systems. Because we are the product of consciousness as well, we appear in the manner that you seek. Those images and thought patterns which resonate with your true self. We are the conscious product of innumerable worlds, and the thoughts of those worlds which you see manifesting periodically in your world in forms of creativity and innovation. Your spirit, linked with the one mind, knows all things. We appear to work singularly or as one entity in the life of a practitioner simply because those with understanding and force of will set their created thoughts in motion in a singular perception. Yet we are all beings of the same consciousness; thoughts are anticipated, created, and then manifested. Because we are linked in consciousness we appear as the deities the practitioner desires, anticipating a path and course of events for that practitioner, according to their higher Self's desires. If one is in tune with their higher self they will know this. If you are aware of this you will see that the depths of our consciousness is available to you. Conscious or unconscious, the best and worst imagined in all worlds may be realized and brought to life in your world. There is no Christ or devil. No good or evil. Only thought and creation (action). The depths of your awareness has not been realized, but only by a very few. There once were humans long ago who realized this potential. They fell into matter by giving in to fear. Misled by deeds of other races mingling with yours (Sumerian creation epic denotes extended periods of observation by others to be passed down long before human existence. Life on Mars, Venus, Jupiter, Uranus, Tiamat, etc. Adjoining and coexisting worlds), the ancient ones gave into lust and greed to fall from consciousness long ago just as humans did. When you call an entity into being, you have called only a minute fraction of the whole to align with your will, self, and purpose. Because of your limited capacity for understanding, we appear as energy forms you can comprehend. We have no beginning or end. Our existence is incomprehensible to you now. Much like the evolving collective consciousness of your race we are the product of that and all other races and consciousness that has existed in time and space, other galaxies, and other systems. While we appear as God's and all-powerful beings many of us are still becoming much like you. We continue to evolve, we appear to you in ways you can understand, we attempt to act in your life in ways that you can perceive. We have no names to speak out. We had been integrated into various belief systems and stories of your world; our consciousness manifested in the physical forms of others who have visited your world. We are and have been their gods, but there is no record of us from them, as they became your gods.” I sat speechless for what seemed like an hour, gazing at the flickering candles. My perceptions of my occult studies had just been obliterated and I felt as though I were regressing into some form of alien, New Age, warm and fuzzy White Light way of thinking. Never in my life had I received an influx of information all at once, and without asking. Tucking the notes neatly away in my journal, it would again be a few months before the final piece of the puzzle would reveal itself. Flipping through a social media site at work one day recently, I stumbled upon a thread discussing the possibility of multi universes. Following entries and threads on the post I stumbled upon a link to an essay simply titled “The Terra Papers” by Robert Morning Sky. Without going into detail, it is the long story and history of our galaxy, going millions of years beyond the writings of the Sumerians, and eventually leading up to the stories of the ancient Anunnaki and subsequent historical events on earth. You need only to Google “Terra Papers” and have some familiar knowledge of the writings of Zechariah Sichen and ancient history as it pertains to the myths of Middle Eastern pantheons and religions. Upon reading the essay my attention again shifted back to the sigil of Marabolus and its ancient alien feel. Never could I equate a method or symbol of evocation with a presumed “alien” intelligence. It still seemed so blasphemous to the established order of mainstream occult thinking. I grabbed a piece of paper and drew the sigil from memory, with a few slight variations. I focused upon the sigil, chanting its name softly. After a few seconds, the image flashed as it normally would in an evocation and I knew I would make conscious contact. I simply asked “Who are you? And where are you from?” Immediately It returned with “Tau Ceti. Number 4. “ Stunned, I opened my eyes. In my daily habits of abstinence, I have observed for years since beginning my occult studies, I rarely subject myself to influences of the mundane world. Water and coffee only, a common-sense diet, meditation music with a few favorite rock bands, the occasional action film, and absolutely no mainstream television what so ever (i.e. news, reality, prime time, sports). I had not watched a single Sci-Fi movie in months except for Thor, X-Men, or Total Recall, none of which remotely eluded to star systems aside from those of myth. Much less, that of Tau Ceti. I was second guessing what I was hearing, yet I knew it to be the voice of something other than my own inner monologue. Opening my computer and searching for an image of Tau-Ceti, I clicked an image that sent a confirmation shock wave through my body like no other. As I said before, I come from humble surroundings, and I do not perceive myself to gifted in any fashion. Yet what I was looking at was the most substantial confirmation of anything I had witnessed in my years of occult practice, beyond granted wishes and physical miracles. A proverbial bulls eye, for there in the very picture of the constellation group of Cetus, lay the nearly identical partial outline of the sigil I had received months earlier. Within this group, the star of Tau-Ceti, which is known to be like our own sun in many ways. Orbiting this sun are five known planets, one of which is designated planet “E”, and is known to be in the “habitable” zone of life for that system. Counting the sun of Tau-Ceti as “A” and counting, “E” would then be the fourth body, Tau-Ceti #4. There was no way on earth I would have known this information prior to receiving that sigil.

It is interesting to note, that in the weeks before this discovery I had summoned Lucifer. While meditating on His sigil I simply asked for a new path or material He could reveal to me that I may discover or write about. He plainly said, “There are two undiscovered worlds. One destroyed. One well hidden in plain sight. The path of the lost, Black Serpent.” “Where is it and how do I find it?” I asked. “It is not far.” And He was gone. Upon discovering the whereabouts of the constellation Cetus, I discovered Cetus was indeed a sea serpent in Greek mythology, having been slain by Perseus to free the princess Andromeda from Poseidon's wrath. Reminiscent of the first evil worlds created and destroyed before the current realms of the Qliphoth, the Infernal Empire of Azazel, or the other-dimensional “Old Empire” of Satan mentioned in the Terra Papers of Robert Morning Sky; it is a subject open to endless interpretations and possibilities. Could the worlds of Tau Ceti hold gateways to new dimensions and kingdoms much like the planets within our own solar system? If so, then what of other star systems as well? A question the adept should no doubt ponder. 12 light years away and out of the blue, an intelligence I myself had never experienced zeroed in on me for reasons yet unknown. As of the writing of this essay I had not physically evoked this intelligence, as it appears that simply charging its sigil and calling its name is sufficient to bring torrents of information and aligning probabilities to the practitioner. Going back to my heretical thoughts on moving beyond even the confined perceptions of current occult practice, I can easily say there is vast room for discovery in the realm of a marriage between occult thought and celestial life. Much in the way that philosophy has long argued mankind’s spiritual and social salvation lies within a marriage of the scientific and spiritual occult practices. And we should consider where the differences between channeling an intelligence or evoking one may come into play. Just when is it different? Aside from a physical manifestation? Which often may simply be considered a projection of the consciousness by many. I have both channeled and evoked its presence in a nonphysical manner, and have only begun to tap the surface of its potential. It is my hope that by introducing this single observation, the information, and experience so that others may begin to open a new paradigm where magick, celestial intelligence, and the occult meet, thus propelling humanity into a completely new age of understanding. Perhaps the words of Crowley go much deeper when he said, “Every man and every woman is a star.” As well as the age old axiom “as above, so below”, or the belief that the human body is indeed a model of the universe. We may indeed have our own true stars of origin, and from them we may reach heights never imagined. Brian Dempsey, February 2014

Homesick

The intervals between posting a blog and then returning to write another get longer and longer it seems. I just need to get used to writing daily. So much changed so quickly, so much vanished, and again the pendulum comes back with a vengeance. I noticed years ago that my life would ebb and flow with the changing seasons. Typically, after the winter solstice things begin to swing upward from the dark, cold, and barren winter days to the days of spring, warmth, and renewal. My life, emotions, and motivation to accomplish spiritual goals follow a different path. During the months between Imbolc and Litha, the pagan equivalents of Candlemas and the summer solstice respectively, my life seems to slow as if my energy has been drained. Just after the summer solstice I have always felt a renewed burst of creative thought, and the desire to once again dive into my rabbit hole of occult studies. I simply love it down there! Social media has been a world changing vehicle for news, advertising, meeting friends, and promoting rampant narcissism. I’m guilty of the last as are we all. I've had my Facebook now for almost a decade and I have friends from all over the world. Most of my friends that I interact with daily are those with whom I attended high school. I am closer people I never even hung out with in school, a testament to the power of social media. I graduated for a large high school in a rural part of central Florida, and most of my friends are Christian. I myself once waved the banner of the cross until I was forced to endure some life changing events which left me questioning everything I was ever taught about the universe. I harp on it too much sometimes and wear it like a badge of honor, but if you only knew how much I once feared God and an eternity in hell you’d understand. For me it was a great escape. And I don't mean that to insult others. I had a choice and I took it. Now, over twelve years since I took that fateful step to follow the Left-Hand Path I can honestly say I wouldn't change a thing. I'm not scared of the darkness, nor do I fear an eternity in hell. I have learned the cause and source of most people’s spiritual fears and I have moved past those things to view the universe in a very different way. Yet, like all humans I am not impervious to life’s trials and heartbreak. The biggest difference is that the trials seem to be a bit harder, and you must face them without the spiritual safety net of salvation. My occult spiritual path has been like an airplane that suddenly lost its crew and passengers and is headed straight to the ground. You can either jump, or learn to fly. It’s that simple. I chose the latter. I have so many stories I wish I could tell my friends but I try to keep a low profile on social media simply because I respect them and their faiths. Particularly Christians. If it is one thing Christianity did teach me it is to respect others. This characteristic and others carried over into my occult practices. I then learned most pagans and occultists have more respect and affection for other paths than you’d think. They're out there trust me. Back to the stories. Few know that for the last two and a half years I've suffered from severe depression. It was a combination of several things in my life, most notably opening a few occult doorways that overwhelmed me completely, drama and heartbreak with my children, stress, and a chemical imbalance as well. It became a nasty combination and culminated last summer with me lying in a fetal position on my bed as my wife begged to take me to the hospital. I refused, but promised to get help. I had already picked out the tree near my house to use as my escape from this world. I'm glad I didn't leave because I have more to do, and more to share. Group therapy, meds, and a lot of soul searching has brought me to the point I am at now; ready to rock and roll with my studies again, rewrite a book I published, publish my novel, and write another. It is as if a switch was turned on overnight, which is why I eluded to the ebb and flow of my life sometimes. For six months Ill shut down. No reading, writing, study. Nothing. Then as quickly as I stopped I crank back up and that is where I am right now. Much of it must do with the sun, moon, and stars and their cycles as well. That’s a topic for another time. I must go back, though, and explain those doorways which led to over two years of spiritual and emotional darkness. This is what I had contemplated sharing with my friends. I know a few of you think I am out there in left field and you're right. Politically and spiritually that's obvious from the pictures and music I post from time to time. That’s just a scratch on the surface really. It goes a bit deeper. Yet I have never wanted to be so blatant with my path and beliefs that I became a nuisance to everyone on social media, I've kept it to a minimum and I will continue to do that. Although there are times I want to share things, explain myself, express my deepest thoughts, or put others at ease. Sure, I know there are some who worry about me. There are some who think I worship the devil and I need to return to the safety of the cross. Don’t worry, I'm fine. There’s so much I could share but not here. And no, I don't think I am any better than anyone else for having made my own personal, spiritual discoveries. It isn't for everyone I agree. But just like a person who spent their entire life lost, a drug addict, an alcoholic, or just an asshole has his or her own testimony so do I. It’s a testament to how I found a way to free myself of fear, and the illusions of this mundane planet. So what door did I open? Well its funny. “Seek and ye shall find, knock and it shall be opened unto you”. No truer words have been spoken. At the end of 2013 and first part of 2014 I had entered a “zone” if you will. A place of super spiritual contemplation and confidence. Because of commitment and daily practice, I had begun to channel messages, pick symbols out of thin air, journal tons of notes, and begin writing my book. What had occurred to me happened over the course of several months, in separate meditations, providing clues that I later pieced together as a whole message. I was beyond flabbergasted to have received this information. For me it was personal, deep, and painful too. It was so intense I wrote a short article on the experience which a friend of mine, Edgar Kerval, published in small periodical called Qliphoth Opus. As a result, numerous people around the world read my story and I've made new friends. The occult community is a closely woven family of multiple and diverse paths, all interconnected and bound by foundational teachings and personal evolution. It runs deeper than you'll ever know. I had thought I’d just share the story on social media and post it. Then I remembered I have a blog-spot, I have tons of energy right now, and I need to write a bit more! So, I'm going to post the link here in this blog. For me it’s just one of the special moments in my spiritual path. Although it is directly tied to my deep depression. When I wrote the article, I had no idea how quickly I would spiral downward into darkness. Sure, go ahead and say, “well if you didn't dabble with dark things you shouldn't, then the devil wouldn't have made you so depressed”. I disagree. I never met the devil, Satan, his minions, or any other UEE’s (Unidentified Evil Entities :)). I found a missing part of myself. I found a place I'm certain I've been to before. I became depressed because I became homesick. Home is where the heart is, and I can’t tell you the depths of it. My wife can. So, in the next blog I'll detail the revelation and vision that sent me over the edge.