The World I See

This will be my first official blog here, and I'm still not sure what to begin discussing. I do know my blogs will not be about my daily life to a large degree, what I ate during the day, what I did at exactly each moment of the day, or anything to do with hobbies, habits,or petty day to day gossip. What I will write about, though, are my sincere feelings on world spirituality, occult matters, some political views, and perhaps a few opinions on current events which directly affect spirituality in the world today. In my opinion, there will be plenty of this to talk about on a daily basis. But now for a quick introduction, and thought overview.
I am an occultist( a wiccan deist of sorts), a hard working blue collar truck driver, a faithful companion to the most beautiful and loving woman in the world, and a proud father of three teenagers. I go to bed early, and I'm up way before the chickens, even on most weekends. I can fix, build, or drive just about anything, from early era hot hods, a trailer your Turbo Cummins truck could pull cattle in, or a 400 ton hydro crane respectivly, but not necessarily in that order either. I am a jack of all trades, and a master to only myself. Yet spirituality is my foremost thought, and the course of the world as a collective.
I was raised a Christian, starting out in a Methodist daycare in central Florida, then moving on to a Christian private school for the next eight and a half years before moving to public schools. Talk about culture shock. I was called a prude, and had no clue there were such things as kids who smoked, skipped school, or girls who wanted to make out. But I learned lingo and ropes quickly, still all the while clinging to my conservative upbringing. Through out high school I was labled " preacher boy", for my dedication to my church , its youth ministries, and my Christian beliefs. But I still had questions about the Bible, and I wondered if others questioned certain inconsistancies as I did. Yet, I took it upon faith not to worry about it, for God would have all the answers in heaven, and we need not worry about it , because we were saved Christians.
As the years went on, I married, had children, divorced, and was forced to take atvantage of a cheuffer's liscense I had for many years, so I began driving a truck. I went to church occaisionaly, but slowly drifted into my own world of thought and questioning. The proverbial nail in the coffin was a mens missions trip to Elk City Oklahoma, where, during the emotional downfall of my first divorce, the group I was with layed hands on me, and tried to force me to speak in tongues by massaging my throat, praying over me, and anointing me. I was done. I felt violated, and angry, because I felt if God wanted me to speak in an incoherrantly babbling voice, He would let me do so on my own, or when His "Spirit" so led me. Upon returning home, it would be the last time for nearly 15 years that I would step foot in a church.
For many years I was drawn to the occult, even while active in the church during my earlier years. I dismissed such thoughts of witchcraft and " what if" as the Devil speaking to me, and I carried on. Yet, during times of solitude, I would enjoy the exstacy of listening to Ozzy Osbournes " Bark At The Moon" through my cassette head phones, while staring at a full moon through my bedroom window. What a rush! I felt so........so evil! But then I didnt, I just felt...........relieved for some reason, and at home. At peace. But why? Was it really evil to feel this way? I was safe though, because I was saved, I could ask forgiveness, and all would be well in the morning.
In early 2004 the thoughts of spirituality began to echo louder in my mind. Until this point, I had not attended church in many years, read my Bible, or given a second thought to being a Christian. Morally, I was the same as I had been for my entire life, still clinging to the ideals instilled in me by my church up bringing, yet empty for not understanding my attraction to the occult, or the answers to the questions about the Bible which had haunted me for most of my life. I wanted to know. I broke down one afternoon, driving to ther closest Barnes and Noble book store, intent on buying a book on the occult, yet not knowing what i was even looking for.
I rounded the corner of the metaphysical/spiritual section and was surprised at the multitude of books on varrying occult matters. I must have thumbed through 20 books, and stood there for over an hour before finally settling on a Scott Cunningham book entitled " Wicca , The Guide To The Solitary Paractitioner". I later learned this book was at the top of the recommended list for any new initiate into the realms of witchcraft, and was required reading for many first year students in many covens.
I absorbed the book and its contents with an appetite that was nearly ravenous! I even read it and thumbed through it while driving. I couldnt get enough. This ultimately led to my awakening , both spiritualy and intelectually, as I had never been a fan of reading anything until I began to satisfy the hollows of my soul with a knowledge I had never known existed before. Christmas was actually the pagan celebration once called Yule, Easter was clebrated the same time pagans celebrated Ostara, and Learned where the Easter Bunny and eggs came from. I learned that the story of Christ was echoed in other cultural religious storie millenia before the supposed birth of Christ. I litteraly overloaded to a point on written history and just plain fact that I never knew existed. I felt overjoyed and fullfilled, yet cheated, and lied to as a Christian. How could I be told so many things that seemed only fictional copies of much older and paralelling stories in history.
About a year after my epiphany, and numerous books and study, I set out to teach what I had learned, but only to teach. I wasnt on a mission to convert anyone, but only to share the knowledege I had gained, and build upon it. I began teaching Wicca 101 classes at the local library, and with in 6 months had a group of 30 some people, which eventualy became the ground work for my coven. I quickly learned some hard lessons in group dynamics, and quickly began to form new opinions on subjects I had held very conservative views on before I started my quest for knowledge. I was quickly becoming cynical, bitter,and disgusted at the world I had been blind to for nearly all my life.
Now that you know where I am coming from, and who I am, I will quickly share my beliefs. I consider my self Wiccan more than anything, because of the fact I am drawn to so many differing paths of faith which would be considered occultic, such as Celtic, Italian Strega, Egytian, Elusian, ect. I believe in a God and a Goddess, yet one all creative force which is dual in nature. I believe in the eternal soul, which is reincarnated over and over again, and that we as humans sadly mistake this mundane earthly existance for what we really are. I disagree in the fact that this exisatance is mearly temorary, and that what we truly are resides within us as our higher self, or spirit. I believe in the power of thought and the collective mind of large groups, even the world. I do not believe in a savior, or Christ; I do not believe in a heaven in the Christian sense; I do not believe in sin or an all evil force such as satan or the devil. We as humans create our own sin, and we as humans create our own existance by action and thought, then project human charcteristics on the outcome or result based on guilt, fear, sadness, happiness, joy, ect. The need to be " saved" comes from this process, or the need to feel fullfilled spiritually to compensate for inadequate feelings. I can go into detail spiritualy later.
Ive grown quite sick of the world around me, from wastfulness, hypocrasy, hate, bigotry, slothfulness, pettiness, and the list goes on. Im tired of people being in a hurry, and Im tired of feeling like I get in thier way, especially on the interstate. Whay cant the world slow down? Why the big rush? Does anyone not understand the concept of time? For there is none, save what we attibute to it. We say there is time, because we will it to exist, therefore we must abide by it, letting it dictate our every move. In reality, there is no time, and the past, present and future exist simultaniously , and it is difficult for many to understand this.
War, disease, hunger, fear, death. What can we do to abolish these things in our world? People talk of world peace, yet no one does anything beyond a ralley, a concert, or moment of silence. There have been many saviors, christs, healers, leaders, and the like who stood out in history and made a massive change, yet non that I can recall in recent centuries or since our planet has gone to hell who have stood out. What will it take to stop global warming? Economic downfall? Fighting in the middle east? Famine in Africa, or killing in Central Amaerica? There has to be a way for one person to stand up and say " stop it!!". We have became barbaric, and backward in our thinking and actions, the whole time we think we are progressing forward. From a spiritual understanding of ones self, life and nature, and death, there is a drastic way to alter our course in time, right now. I feel the need to speak out with ideas on government, and spirituality, while I struggle to write this with heavy eyes, and a tendancy to ramble and lump subjests. As you can see, Im no author or writter by any stretch.
In my coming notes I will outline ideas for peace, economic change, social change, and more. Some ideas are drastic and in this day will be met with intense debate and resistance, but I feel they should be carried out. If no one else wants to save the world, maybe i can do some small part. Im no scholar, or a genius, but someone has to do it, or at least point it out. Peace and brightest blessings.

New Thoughts

Ive spent some time blogging here and there, now it is time to put my thoughts to the test of the world. This is a new step for me, as Ive usually kept my opinions to myself, but I drive myself mad at times rehashing constant thoughts on spirituality, and the world over and over in my mind. So now I let loose the opinions that dog my thoughts from day to day.
My blogs will deal mostly with religion, spirituality, some politics, and the world as a collective, and I will strive to update them daily, if not often. Also, this is just a test to fine tune the site I have just established.
Peace, and brightest blessings.